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This is How we Go好啦，既然那么多看不顺的，还是写自己吧好啦，既然那么多看不顺的，没有资格去judge其它的，还是写自己吧。 今天晚上折腾好了照相机和三角架，这几年学摄影的朋友多了，自己也属于有着方面欲望之人，心里一个愿望终于落地，小试一下,很是有趣,水平很初级..慢慢来吧,try to see the world in many angles. 发现自己最爱做、最轻松的事就是写东西了。如想写的东西大家都喜欢就变得有负担了。。。这么多年我唯一的乐趣给剥夺了，还想拿它当事业。。。现在拿它当爱好是这么的轻松。。。 挺写意的。。 新闻说youtube在美国流行，可在中国市场成绩平平。因为在北美，人们看到网上一些好玩的视频，便自己也拍些视频上传分享，可在中国人们只懂得欣赏别人的视频，并乐于在茶余饭后谈论，但少有人上传自己的视频（后舍男孩是少数又经典），所以文化跟不上经济，使得youtube在中国不流行。从VCR带来funniest movie就可看到出，在北美人们乐于分享自己拍摄的短篇。想来哀哉，在中国执著于此的也只有－不为见怪－大家都知道－张钰算一个、雅阁女、芙蓉姐姐不知是否也顶数。 要学会爱表达，不怕出丑，并且不神经兮兮，还得靠common sense和自审。教育算数吗，不知道。 不懂中文的朋友不要怪我的啦，我终究还是得写一些中文的。。struggle btween languages 是一种甜蜜的资本。。虽然带来很多麻烦。。。 完了，我又开始咬文嚼字了。赶快停止。意识是一种麻烦！ Jan 8th, 2006Okay now...when i was taking a bath today, something popped up in my mind (maybe thinking too much of the movie "Night at the Museum") --about 2 years ago, on Canada day, everyone rushed out to Canada Place to check out the big scenes they put up there. Canada Day (although it's not national day, that's what I learnt in the news industry..) is supposed to be a day celebrating and expressing the sense of pride as Canadians, but at the very entrance of the Canada Place, a big bunch of Aboriginals waving their banners and shouting out their speeches through a huge loudspeakers that 'Canada, this land, is originally our land, you guys are invaders! you guys should get out of here and give our land back!!' Interesting story coz it happens at Canada Day in Canada Place, and this group of people are so stuck up at the very corner of the entrance that everyone come should spot them. At that time I was thinking that, they were actually right at some point, it's just that history passed by, some events made things changed and became rules, guests became hosts, and we haven't find anyone to blame for. This actually made me see 2 things in Canada; People here are really free --you can say what you want, even it's a sensitive topic at the sensitive place (but not tax free, altho tax free do brings alot whole other freedoms). 2nd thing is, can we still be this free if we go back to China? can we always come up with what we think and what we wanna say? However, even if we say something here, do anybody, here, actually listen? like those aboriginal group, they are luckier coz they got audiences, but do Government actually care? what about us? do anyone here actually listen to us? and what about if we go back to China, a bunch of people listens, actually too many people listens, but can we say what way wanna say?  The one i wrote today is too long...next time short one...if it's not a movie review or sth. Hear These Praises每天早上的例行事务，起早准备早饭，照顾好弟弟后，再顶着晨曦萌动中渐渐褪去的晨星，穿过还没被一天的人潮扬起灰尘玷染的马路，去阿尔多德帮他介绍的在当时属于中产阶级地位不俗的一大户人家去教课。当傍晚结束完一天的工作回到家里时，弟弟早已从学校放学回来，她知道差不多到这个时辰的时候，弟弟坐在他的书桌前、或半懒卧在床前，侧耳倾听门口从下在楼道渐渐清晰的姐姐的脚步声，她走路很轻，经过一天的教课，也不免从脚步中露出疲惫的声响，可很坚定，很轻柔，那就是姐姐了。两姐弟一起准备晚餐，然后便是家里一天中最快乐的时光。听弟弟讲着学校里发生的事情，同学们之间的言语和对老师的看法，这一切离她很遥远，很早当她们来到这里以后她就没有再上过学，一直靠着自己做家庭教师，帮人干点杂活来抚养弟弟，供他学费，期盼他毕业成人的一天。晚饭后，弟弟开始做功课，两姐弟共用屋子中间的一个四方形的小桌子，她便坐在弟弟对面，读读书,准备明天上课的内容.等弟弟睡觉时,她帮他揶平被子,给他晚安的吻, 然后转身离去, 关上门。等渐渐听到门内传来弟弟均匀而稳着的呼吸声时，她已操起夜灯，做起这个月接来的针线活，赚点零用钱供家用。 虽然生活艰辛，每天的繁忙劳务把她的个性抹平了，脾气渐消了，年轻清瘦的脸上透出成年人的无奈。有的时候深夜里一人时，她会回想一下童年时她们还在农庄里无拘无束的生活。那时的她还很调皮，总是欺负弟弟，当把弟弟逗哭时她又跑过去安抚他。还有妈妈，爸爸……她太累了，经常咳嗽，有时听到大人们讲谁谁家里的什么人得肺病死去，她就恐惧不已，生怕自己不能和弟弟长久相守。尽管如此，她每天都做着长久、热烈而深切的祷告，跪在床前，手里紧握着十字架，感谢上帝赐给他的一切。她看到人间的卑劣，同时为自己心里时不时罪恶的念头愧疚不已。可是她总是乞求，总是感恩。每当她跪在窗前时，弟弟就知道姐姐会呆上一段时间，他不懂从她嘴里出来的一长串热情澎湃的祷告词为何意，他自己是不信基督的，虽然他就读于基督徒的学校，姐姐的行为也不能让他理解。从她那里听来的，都是感谢、都是赞美。我们看见人间的悲苦和不平等，也看见自己心中的罪恶，可是我们还是敬仰神，我们还是仰望神，这世上的一切悲苦也许到头都看不清原因，可是我们总在热切的寻找，直到我们找到，直到我们找到，而希望一直伴随着我们，神也一直俯首眷顾着我们。 观此行，久思不得平，作此拙文看完同性恋游行那天拍得照片，心里感触良多，久久不能平静。可惜的是，新闻稿不能议论，不能放入感情和表达个人意愿，只能反映事实。虽然圣经上反对，可当我看到他们的照片时，在网上查找他们的内心独白，听他们的中文歌时，我觉得，同性恋表现欲很强，虽然他们脸上涂着怪异的油彩、头上安着魔鬼的角、在人群里大作怪，其实他们是很单纯的。如果他们呼吁的是社会的肯定，那么人们接纳他们的同时，应该帮助他们，如果是上帝的意图，那么教会也可以帮助他们，走出撒旦的控制。仔细盯着blog里放的那张手推着脚车、身上涂满蓝色油彩、化装成小怪物的人的第二张照片，当人们给他拍照的时候，他正看着远处笑着，心里一阵莫名的难过。看看他的眼神，那是多么善良的眼神啊！比一些正常人的眼神要善良百倍，不是一个等级可以衡量的。美好的心灵朝着那双眼睛向外透着愉悦、坦诚的光，我暂时也只能这么形容了。我很后悔，因为当时没有胆量上前给他拍照，只有他在为别的照相机摆姿势的时候在旁边快快的按下快门，好像把和他之间理应的联系错开了，却得了这张照片。如果再给我一次机会，我一定会勇敢上前和他交谈、访问一下他美好的心灵传出的话语，而不是扭拧着错过又勉强搭上人与人之间那一刻的联结。
还有那执著举着国旗、穿红色性感群的老人，一看有相机来，便举起了旗子。我听他对别人说，“I'm from Mexican."最后那赤裸上身的胖女人，两个乳房上面散着圆晕大大松松的垂了下来。本想交给报社，这可是一张非常敏感却又理所正当的资料图片，可抢个好新闻，但在犹豫了半天后，觉得还是有点残忍。
看着他们瘦弱的、或因胖而微肿的、和我们一样的肉上覆盖着夸张的重彩，看着他们执著的、在大太阳下举着旗子、看着他们家里穿的短裤勒着那肥嘟嘟的、毫无遮掩的上身。。。他们不是那些典型的帅哥型gay with perfect build-up body, 也不是以别出心裁的让人眼睛一亮的奇异彩服让人久久难忘，是他们那普通的、和我们一样的身体，让我这样意想不到的触动。多么可爱的人们啊！如果真是迷失了，谁能来帮助他们呢？
working vs schooling (just abit of the starter)I used to think working can give me a sense of fulfillment that I've been longing for these years. After a few month's experiences, i still grasp this empty feeling tightly in my heart no matter how hard i work everyday. What is more, working is much more exhausted than school life, every day when coming back home i left no energy for gym and houseworks & always wannna get boosted by a glass of wine. Now i understand what does that mean when those elders said "school life is much more fulfilling, because you learn new things everyday" although it "does not put food on your table" and "pay your bills". At work they need ppl from mass communication major and they think i am wierd working here and have little use. Sometimes i almost have the thoughts of taking another related major at bcit or somewhere, but when i come back to economic books i feel like i betray her becoz i almost forgot how i used to love this subject and boast around telling ppl how i love her and have a strong confidence it's going to be useful whatever i do in the future. The bad thing about Canada is that as long as ppl work they won't starve to death, maybe i will learn more abt responsibility when poverty inspires my desires.
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." --Proverbs 9:10
This is from a church friend's testimony, I remember he said Bible is too difficult that he used to have a hard time reading it, but after he learnt this line and truly felt this way that he became to understand it bit by bit.
How i wish i could fully understand this line as well, and let it become the hope and the source of my passion.
goodnite vancouver
 gonna install NJstar tomorrow 怒文上帝说要懂得宽容与包容，友人说男女在一起前，多是男生让着女生，而两人走到一起时间长了以后女人渐渐懂得容忍与包容，慢慢得越来越多是女方的让步和妥协，特别是在意见不一或家里有了冲突以后。听之言者有理，于是照做。虽时常心不平气不和，但事后一旦稍有冷静，便及时努力的沟通。几经实践，发现事不制此，也否因人而异？
今觉女甚让，男甚进，前后好似判若两人，不可一世之姿令人惊诧失意。原为索索小事之争，自觉自有理，于是相互僵持；过几时，气消大多，男方顶男人大丈夫之身、恐人道肚里不可撑船之嫌，半碍情面、半非得以，屈身以现大度之姿。不然现今，女方虽几次妥退，多半不因清其是非之道，而念其母频频教诲，情侣之间情为主，无可大是非对错，而男方却跃跃得意，得寸进尺，竟言“愿意帮忙就帮，不愿帮说清楚拉倒“，更有甚之，问女”以前对他的帮助居心何在“，让其惊怒愤意之余，失望心凉不已。
女亦无所图，女亦无所瞒，帮君改文之时，句句斟酌，字字咀嚼，（阅）翻字典无数，唯恐文不过师，为难其君，责究他过，女心亦不好受。君之意二三小时完事，女却尽7日之时方可尽稿，而其本业落后甚多，只望以后赶时追上。今二人因小事拌口，君让女帮改文尾，女娇声要君致歉，君不应，女多次暗语，君仍不妥，宁匆匆传至导师完事，拒谢其助。女不满，觉君无视尊意，君出以上此言，伤人甚深。
哀哉！人称男子汉大度之美，而女择其君只因赏其慷慨博襟之举，今竟出此刻言，难承之余，也可谓更识其人其性。欲喜？欲悲？ Learn to Share
i was supposed to write sth abt maximizing prob and nash equilibrium with this topic the other day, but after having Wednesday’s behavior econ class, i felt that there's still much to learn and each day i became to understand this prob more. so i will just leave the puzzle here, and see if the theory could help me and fill me with gratitude to the real world at all.
seems that a taste of grief and sorrow in ppl's articles is trendy these days, gradually becoming a symbol/sign for profound writings. looks like everybody wants to be either "the unbearably lightness of the [being]", or the ashes of roses, whose thrilling beauty can only be revealed, compelled, and most importantly after all, recognized, b4 vanishing. come on, if ur life is too plain to have sth to be sad abt, then dunt push it, otherwise " the unbearably lightness" of the emptiness would kill u as well, if u still considered urself a genuine person.
大猩猩 太可怜了！ you will be a better person if u know how to wield the power of grace and mercy.....to show them is not a trait of weakness, rather it is a sign of wisdom.
---quote from xiao fei yang, using MLA style, oh my...
Anyway, here we are, one thing to clarify 1st:
I write the blog in English not because I think my Engish writings are better and my thoughts are better expressed and my arguments are more clearly presented in English (I know some people try to criticize their Chinese writing skills as they think writing in Chinese disgrace themselves, esp. for those from bilingual country). I write in English because some of my friends can read English ONLY and they are part of my life。I do not want to ignore them. That’s all.
大猩猩太可怜了！
呆在sfu，对着四周冷凄凄、苦巴巴、面无一点生气的墙壁，自感像一只困兽。想到上个礼拜看得电影《ＫＩＮＧ ＫＯＮＧ》，一时激情澎湃、感想联翩，可就像隔夜的菜，记得所想所感，可新鲜感已逐递，放在纸上索然无味。不甘就此作罢，只得逼自己激情再燃，如仍写不出气候，至少逻辑部分值得分享与探讨。
当Ａｎｎ一个人在岛上无助的逃生时，受到了身材娇小、但动作敏锐、生性残暴的食肉恐龙的追逐，这时几只体积约大出十倍的中型恐龙对小恐龙的突然袭击救了她一时之险；可好景不长，中型恐龙吃完小恐龙后随即又追赶Ａｎｎ。。。眼看将要被吞噬，巨型恐龙叼着快要咬到Ａｎｎ的中型恐龙并把它吞进了肚子。。。Ａｎｎ趁机狂逃，想摆脱追袭，最后还是被像石头山一样的巨型龙挡死了去路。。。然后大猩猩出现了，一阵厮杀后在自己略微受伤、恐龙两腭被掰开惨死的情况下救出了Ａｎｎ，两人就此在彼此的心中产生了美好的感情。。。
看到这大吃中、中吃小的场面，不禁让人对自然界这种弱肉强食的赤裸裸的展现惊叹不已。本来耀武扬威一副理所当然天下它最大的姿态，没一下子就眼睁睁的给吞进了肚子，原始社会无情、露骨的按食物链法则依次厮杀的情景在给人们强烈冲击的同时，还使人们暗自庆幸自己生活在文明社会里。那么文明社会就真的文明吗？大自然的规律是不是就此隐退或逐渐消失了呢？是的，文明世界真的文明了，文明的争斗、文明的弱肉强食；大自然大吃中、中吃小的规律不是消失或隐退了，而是在变得含蓄、隐讳的同时，还不忘打上慈悲、替天行道的幌子，以至于勇士们间的直截了当的公开决斗倒显得难能可贵，大部分的人们不会骂他们粗俗不堪，只会为他们的光明磊落而赞赏有佳。可女人们之间阴里来、暗里去的桌肚之争才基本上大差不差地把现代社会的基本规律清楚地体现出来；这才令人们难以忍受。我记得以前的同屋跟我说过，“你是我讲话的对手“，接着又强调不是对象而是对手，这把人们或动物之间相互依存又相互对立的关系形象得用词汇表现出来。
回到大猩猩身上。从它的出现到末尾的死亡，除了一开始对这只毛茸茸的庞然大物不了解而产生的恐惧和恶心，我一直都对猩猩感到无限的内疚和难受。特别是那双眼睛--也许大猩猩不会说话，除了肢体语言他的全部表达几乎都集中在那双眼睛上。开始是粗暴，凶残，野人们用美女来供他以保安全，Ann被抓到后装死的时候它竟一人乖乖吃起了竹子之类的东西--现在想想还挺可爱的，一副无辜的样子。对Ann发过脾气后一屁股坐在地上，两眼充满了无助和让人怜惜的难过--其实就是一个孩子，天真、任性又孤独，可是它的坏脾气把同行的无辜的人像蚂蚁一样摔死了--特别是忠厚耿直的黑人大副，让人觉得好不悲惨，可是猩猩是无意识的，又能怪谁呢。
最后导演利用猩猩对Ann的爱把它引到城市以至于最后被飞机上的子弹射死--影片结束时好像还念念不忘向观众强调"It's the beauty who kill the beast", "not the airplane". I mean come on 这明明是一系列的综合原因造成的而这句话硬要在这里被加进来显得有些仓促牵强。不管是谁伤谁、谁死谁没死，物竞天择的生存规律或者是没有规律的规律（没有被人们所认知的规律）让我们没有绝对的公平的衡量准则---惋惜归惋惜，心疼归心疼，可终究也没什么可怜不可怜的。
最后一点题外话，猩猩和Ann之间的到底是不是爱情呢？猩猩喜欢Ann应该没错，而Ann一开始是和那个作家相爱，但历险后回到城市却没有和作家好起来，尽管他当时冒死相救。就算不是爱情，人世间有这么纯洁无所求的感情，也难得此生了。如果有这种比爱情还真的感情（不包括亲属关系）存在，到底哪种更为美好呢？
理性与感性--理论篇用了这么朴素直白的标题，希望接下来阐述的观点也跟它一样清楚明了。 西方人好像普遍相信上帝的存在，尽管他无实体存在。而在国内的教育中却一切以科学根据为正。经常听到一些朋友辩解上帝的存在问题，提出怀疑的人层层逼近，越问越有疑问；好心回答的人一面耐心解答，一面说服自己。仔细想想，矛盾出在哪里呢？出在人们总是想用‘理’去解释。以前我在其他文章里提过，属于这个世界的东西，可以用这个世界的东西去解释，不属于这个世界的东西，则不可以用这个世界的东西去解释。理是属于这个世界的，用其解释这个世界的东西不足为过；可是上帝是不属于这个世界的，或者说不全属于这个世界的（它是这个世界和世界以外东西的合集）。如果想用‘理’去解释一切，好像是很难寻到源头。那么上帝是什么呢？圣经里说，“上帝就是爱”。那么不能用理解释的，也许可以用爱来解释。信上帝不是让你把所有根据原因数据来龙去脉全搞清楚再去信的，爱应该是一种感觉，你说不清，可是你知道他在那。 和妈妈闹矛盾，总觉得她蛮横无理，看问题偏激得让人无法忍受，直想用头撞墙。可气消后，却忍不住想哄她说话。明知道她不在理，可讲和的愿望从心底而来，连想想都觉得挺开心，怎么回事呢？还是理太霸道的缘故吧。不是什么事都可以用理说清楚的。和妈妈之间那是情，是母女情，是世间爱的一种，就像夫妻之爱，朋友之爱，等等等等。而夫妻可以分手，朋友可以决裂，而母女情不是我们可以决定的。这种关系是在我们出生之前就定下来的，和我们的长相、性格一样。进一步讲，就算朋友、夫妻之间，不同的教育背景、社会环境很大一部分程度上决定了一个人看问题不同的角度，或者更确切的讲，不同的根基(foundation, root)。那么根据此所延伸出来的观点意见处理问题方法当然不同。不能用以我的根基为前提的情况下去要求和我有不同根基的人有相同的见解，就算我是正确的。而我们又怎么这么肯定自己的根基是正确的呢？我们给出得任何见解也是这根基延伸出来得一部分，所以永远不要说自己完全的客观。那么用什么解决这个问题好呢？用包容。 在以前写得一篇文章里有讲过，每个人一生都在找平衡，像数学里的极限，无限接近，但永远达不到。而由此人性我们才发明了经济学。相同的，人与人之间永远存在不一样：高的，矮的，胖的，瘦的，美丽的，丑陋的，聪明的，愚蠢的，高贵的，平庸的……也许只有死后离开这个世界，到达上帝那里，才变得一样。就像《简爱》里所说的，“在上帝面前，我们人人都是平等的！”嫉妒是因为不一样，仇恨是因为不一样，矛盾、战争、慈善、进取是因为不一样，而上帝包容了人间的这种不一样。他接受并且宽容了这种距离。用什么？用爱。 还是《圣经》里那句话。“上帝就是爱”。爱的伟大性在于它包容一切，接纳一切。作为人我们具有不完美性，所以达不到绝对的爱（真正达到人活着就失去了意义），本身人生就是一个无限接近的过程。而宗教里面就教我们努力去接近，得爱要感恩，作恶要忏悔。 作为人，我们的思想应该是理感共存的。而我们一直在结合、调整它们，让他们能融合得恰到好处，从而为我们每天的生活服务，为我们人生的意义服务（下一篇——实用篇会作详细解释）。我们此生都在调整它们，包括很多其他事情（这里不展开）。真正做到绝对的“合情合理”、“情理之中”的，此世间只有一个。他是上帝。
父母在﹐不遠游﹐游必有方考試前﹐總有蠢蠢的寫作衝動﹐現在考完了﹐卻不知如何讓思緒著與紙上(這裡是打于網上)﹐憋了一個小時就憋出來這麼一句﹐著實不爽。最後發現拯救作品的還是音樂。
古人云﹐”父母在﹐不遠游﹐游必有方”。每每聽到這句話﹐總覺心底微微一揪﹐因為何止不是"不遠游", 離開這些年﹐對他們的生活狀態是如此陌生﹐有時她們最需要我的時候﹐我卻在這裡的課上打混混。其實早已麻木這種相隔兩地的生活了﹐ 只是這句話讓我和週圍的人產生強烈的對比﹐顯得我實在不孝。不過仔細想想﹐其實不然。中國近年來多少學子留洋在外﹐難道都該遭譴責﹐而且大家也都"游必有方"。而且從增長的比率看人們都請願付出這樣的trade off。難道古語錯了。
如果沒記錯﹐此言出自論語﹐儒家代表作之一。中國多少年的浸儒思想告訴我們要中庸﹐打下的江山要用城牆圍起來﹐皇帝的宮殿稱為紫禁城﹐這一庸﹐一圍﹐一禁﹐當年被稱之為"東亞病夫"的原由至少有一小部份可以從自身上尋究。
今友人來電﹐鄙人談到無奈處不禁感慨一些當時積極決志的同道之士而今因忙於生活瑣事﹐現已少有去教堂﹐更不知禱告為何物。可友人勸導﹐"you know God walks in strange ways. usually ppl keep birds in the cage so that they won't fly away and belong to the master; but God open the cage, let the birds fly, hovering freely in the sky, and later the birds will come back to the cage, saying that, i don't want to fly any more. i want to be back here." (上帝行走的方式讓人不可理解。一般人們把鳥關在籠裡﹐這樣它們不會飛跑﹐是屬于主人的﹔但是上帝把鳥籠打開﹐讓鳥兒飛翔﹐使其自由翱翔于天空。然後過一會鳥兒回到籠裡﹐說道﹐我不想飛了﹐我要回來。)
記得陳沖在金馬獎頒獎典禮上為在<<綠卡族>>一角領獎﹐記者抨擊她的"崇洋媚外"時﹐她激動得說﹐"我們一次次的出去﹐為得是一次次的歸來"。
可能我們真的是風箏﹐只有地上一點抓得牢﹐才可以飛得更廣更高﹐如果失去了地上一點﹐那就不是高不高的問題了﹐那就是lost了 (迷失)。看來古語已不適用﹐那麼就算是"父母在"﹐我們還是可以"遠游"﹐不僅"游必有方",而且游必歸來。
只是不知﹐何時才能歸來。如果飛不高飛不廣﹐歸來顯得遙遙無期。 a piece from a friend of mineThe following piece is from a friend of mine, a "meagrely mediocre one", as he so calls himself. if you find a little bit hard to follow what it means after a perusal, it doesn't really matter, as you are not as "meagrely mediocre", a person who is proficient both in English and Chinese, You may not perhaps catch every bit of the minute meaning behind these words, but in all likelihood you will immediately grab a book and begin to study harder.
朋友寄来了一篇翻译，那是个自称“平平庸庸”的家伙。头一遍读下来，如果觉得一脑袋雾水的话，也没关系，毕竟你不像他那样“平平庸庸”，那样双语兼通。或许你未必能通透字里行间的微言大义，可是读罢这篇文章，你一定会拾起书本，更加用功地学习起来。 translation done by Jason
A FOREWORD By Lu Gusun 序言[1] 陸穀孫 Robert Frost said, “Poetry is what gets lost in translation.” Not necessarily: that thousands upon thousands of poems get translated back and forth in the world is evidence enough to the contrary. And if you, dear Reader, take a look at the poems translated below in this book, you’ll find the meaning conveyed faithfully, cultural milieu kept in tact, and the poetic ethos enriched. Little, if anything, is lost. 羅伯特·弗羅斯特氏嘗言：“所謂詩意，失于移譯者也已。”僕恐未必盡然。極目宇內，詩詞譯作何啻千萬，足證斯言之確非。而讀者諸君凡經眼此卷譯詩者，即可知其絕勝之處有三：詞義忠信，風神完固，文采瞻鬱。即有所失，不亦微夫。 Nevertheless, nobody has dwelt with greater cogency upon the enormous difficulty involved in poetry translation than Frost in the above-quoted remark. As I see it, translation of poetry requires that the translator have the makings of a poet in him or her. He/She absorbs the source poems with innate poetic sensibilities until they become part of his/her aesthetic being. The empathy is such that the absorbed poems stir, agitate, even haunt him/her, making the utterance of them an absolute must as Jin Shengtan said. By now the translator has to turn to be a poet in the target language in his/her own right, relying on an abundance of prior poetic experience in it. A songster, as it were, who cannot enjoy a minute of peace of mind unless the song is sung. Poetry translation worth its salt invariably involves such a receptive-productive process. 然論譯詩之艱，弗氏此語可謂知言之極。竊以爲，譯詩人當有作詩才，得以風騷玄悟，餮納原詩，然後消之化之，融匯性靈，腹中心中，翻沸迭蕩，爲夢爲魘。其神入之深，情專之切，金聖嘆[2]所謂“必欲說出之一句話”是也。于譯入之文字，更須渤涉嵩覽，靜味細玩，方可稱詩家。一如歌人，曲不竟謳，則須臾難休。是故，必先吞隋珠，吐和璧，而詩之良譯可待矣。 Professor Ren Zhiji or Charles Jen as he is known in the US, an old friend of mine since the 1960s, from whom I’ve learned a lot as it was our wont to discuss matters concerning English and other subjects so much so that during the so-called Cultural Revolution in China we were accused of “scratching each other’s back in a coterie like the Hungarian Petrofi Club”, has enough qualifications of this kind and to spare. He was born an Odysseus, not that he seeks adventures, but that he is a nostalgic by nature. I remember swapping writings in English with him for comment or pleasure reading in the early 1960s. One sentence in one of his essays has never escaped my memory: “Suddenly a cuckoo called. The only audibility in the mountains. And we were thinking of mother.” 任兄治稷教授先生，以“任查理”之名聞達于美利堅國，乃僕卌載舊雨，昔日長與暢論英文幷其餘諸事，多承惠澤教益，以至“文革”釁起，兄與僕爲肖小誣作“裴多菲俱樂部互相撓背抓癢之徒”。以其造詣精微，翻譯詩詞，固非峻業。兄生而具奧德賽之氣質，此非言有貪奇弄險之癖，實謂有懷舊追往之好。猶記四十年前，以英文酬唱，互指疵瑕，相與爲樂。兄文中有一金句，僕未嘗或忘于心間：“忽聽子規吟。山深空留音。聞者憶慈親。” For Ren, emigration happened when he had outlived an ardent age. What remains now is no longer the ecstasy of new horizons but rather the apotheosis of memory. No wonder he has zeroed in on ancient Chinese poetry mostly with a motif of nostalgia and homesickness. People notice that unless he/she is a dolce vita in the mainstream, a feeling émigré, like Milan Kundera, cannot but look back and sing with a heart throbbing with emotion worthy of a Homeric epic: “Alone, in a sadness sublime,/And tears come!” (See page ??) Greater[Jason Chu1] pathos is couched in seemingly light-hearted lines such as “Kids…/Asked me smiling WHERE’S MY HOME” (See page ??) I feel my old friend is tackling a reconciliation with the finitude of life with these lines. In this sense, the value of Ren’s translations far exceeds poetry alone but is a good sample of diasporic literature. 任兄始寓美國，已逾花酒盛年。初入异邦新域之大樂既逝，今淹留者惟冥然兀思往事而已。是以所譯詩詞，皆遴柬撫昔戀鄉之作，未足奇也。大凡游子多愁，若非佼佼然逞志于他國者，其必如米蘭·昆德拉氏，不能不回望前塵，心怦怦動，于焉萌甦之情，何其淵默，即以荷馬詩史出之，亦不爲過：“獨愴然而泪下”（見第？頁）再如“兒童……笑問客從何處來”（見第？頁）之語，乍看似戲謔，然內中自有力感頑艶之哀。竊忖兄或以此詩句，聊慰浮生有限之憾恨。以此觀之，兄之所譯，非特閾于歌詩一區，洵爲羈客文學之楷式哉。 Technically, Ren’s preference to condensed, succinct phrasal utterances instead of to drawn-out, grammatically viable sentences shows how well he grasps the quintessence of poetry. Stylistic devices like synesthesia (e.g., “Green moss lit up by the echoing flare”) abound only where they are comfortably apt. Rhythm and rhyming are continuously a Kierkegaard Either/Or proposition in poetry translation. Ren handles both with aplomb; unrhymed but pleasantly rhythmic lines are fully justified especially when the translator aims at an English-speaking readership accustomed to a time-honored poetic tradition traceable to Shakespeare’s blank verse. 以詩藝論，任兄雅好凝煉，不拘字義文法之桎梏，不落贅詞冗句之窠臼，真知詩之三昧者。修辭藻繪，若“聯覺”之類（如“複照青苔上”之譯句），惟契合文脉處，方得見用。韵、律之于詩歌，齊格高氏[3]所謂“非此即彼，不可兼得”者。而兄犀心夢筆，無不信手拈來。英美詩學，素尊家法，究其本源，則莎士比亞之“白詩”也。兄之譯作，遣句遂少韵而多律，琅琅可誦，蓋俾英語讀者習慣便利之故耳，詎可以此非之乎。 Mr. Yu Zheng, the other translator, is but a slight acquaintance. He did excel among his age peers when he studied at Fudan University, Shanghai, in a class which both Ren and I taught. He has since been remembered as an assiduous and affable young man – with few words but a lot of promise. If he doesn’t feature prominently in this foreword, I sincerely beg his pardon. Yu Zheng老弟，襄協譯事，惜僕與其交識尚淺。曩在海上，負笈復旦，任兄與僕嘗授課業，以爲有卓越同倫之秀。因知此君，勤勉謙退，訥于虛言而敏于躬踐。拙序嘉贊未多，千祈勿罪。 why blog #2 （译文）
但是他只是一个牧师。一个传播消息的牧师，一个让福音流传的通道。当然他必须具备相当多的知识和经验，他必须是一个好的演讲者，一个理解并且让别人理解的人。归根结底，一个有能力传达信息的人（中文有点拗口）。然后就只是这些了。他没有创造。他仅仅是个让信息传播的通道。作为Pastor Lee, 他知道这个，并且很乐意去做。可并不是每个人都是这样的。
I（我） I（我） I（我） 她提出写作就像对人们说，”听我讲，用我的方式理解，然后改变你们的想法。“
并且，什么是“我“呢 (和成龙的电影不一样) ? 作为一个人，我会讲述（1）“我“所知道的，“我“从这个世界上学到的东西，通过（2）“我”的个性、“我“的特征，而这个性特征是在我来到这个世界上、并开始感知它时就跟着我的。所以我们由此可见，“我“不是一个创始人，我更像一个通道，一个载体。
有一个中国的作家叫做三毛，人们认为她最后是自杀死的。她可以算是一个典型的女流派作家，从她的作品中人们总是可以发现她感性的内在和她心里悲观的一面，文字上“凄凄惨惨戚戚"，一面强调她与众不同、与世无争的境界，一面又无意中流露出她的小女人心态。而她在寻找自己人生幸福的道路上，觉得无望，就不知道消失到哪里去了。
再举一个例子。顾城，砍死了自己也砍死了妻子。我的意思是，如果你真的觉得这个世界没有意义或者很无能，然后又觉得自己很伟大，为什么不为这个世界、为人们做点事情呢？为什么不做贡献，反而毁灭呢？如果要问什么是自私的话，那么这个，就算得上自私。如果你是个有才之人，或者你认为自己是个有才之人，那就意味着你和其他人相比，可以为这个世界做出更多的贡献、产生更大的影响，而不是在看到这个世界的无望之处后，告诉别人自己有多伟大多特殊多不同，然后用一种英雄般的悲剧形式来辉煌地结束自己的生命，歌颂一个天才的无奈。确实很美丽壮观，但是一点用都没有。他们可能忘记了，或没有意识到，他们不是那个创造的，而只是信息的传播者，载体。Pastor Lee了解这一点，并且乐意和满足地为人们去做，可他们不是。
所以这个主意改变了我的想法：如果我写，我将尽量不要学习他们。我会去为人们写作，为上帝写作，或者用更普遍的语言讲，为这个世界的目的写作。尽管我以前有向他们学习的倾向，还好现在我意识到一点，并且会在一路上注意。请不要指责我用了太多的“我“，因为任何力量和事情都是有里向外，都是一种延伸。如果有任何“自我主义"的苗头出现，我会祈祷减小它，并且向上帝要方向。
2:43pm, 7月26日，2005
why blog #2  during last week's camp, pastor lee gave us a 3-days session, talking about faith, how ppl should deal with it when they come across a challenge in life, etc. as he was speaking on the stage, i started to have this feeling: everybody here admire his teaching, his artful way of using of words. but he is simply a pastor, a person who spread news, a tunnel to let the gospel flows. of course he has to have great knowledge and experiences, and he has to be a good talker, an interpreter, after all, the ability to deliver the messages, and that's about it. He did not create. He is just a channel to let the information spread. and as for pastor lee, he knows that, and he is happy about it, while doing his job. but not everybody does.
When Joan Didion wrote her aritle, "why I write", the first line popped up was "of course i stole the title for this talk from George Orwell" and she asked ppl to listen to the sound of those words from the title:I
I
I
she suggested writing iis like saying, "listen to me, see it my way, change your mind."
after reading her lines, i stopped writing for a while, coz i dont wanna be aggressive, i'd prefer a more harmonized environment with friends. gladly this thougths didnt stay in my mind for long. after pastor lee talked, after thinking about it, writing, is not about "I", is not about "egoism", at least it's not all about "I", so that we can choose not to have that part. as we write, we r merely convey informations. If u dont believe in God, and regard these infomation are from Him, then, at least we could believe that, they are from a creator, or more generally, ultimately the beginning of everything, the purpose of the life. and we are writing to find the truth.
besides, what is "I"?
I tell what "I" know, what "I" learnt from this world, through "my" own personality, and "my" characteristics, which I found out was already with me when i came to this world and began to perceive it. so we see, "I" is not a starter, it seems more like a channel, a holder.
there is a chinese writer called "san mao", and ppl believed she commited suiside at the end. she is a typical female writer, and we can always find the sentimental inside in her pieces, the pessimistic part of the her heart, and as she pursue her own happiness along the way, she thought her life is hopeless, then just end it in the middle of nowhere.
another example, Gu Cheng, commited suiside and killed his wife too. i mean, come on, if u consider the world is useless, and find sth so great about urself, why not do something for the world, for the ppl? why not contribute, instead of destroy? if we want to know what is "selfishness", and this, is truly selfisness. if u r talented, or if u think u r talented, that means u can contribute more and influence more to the rest of the world, compared to other ppl, but instead u see the hopeless side of this world, telling ppl how great how special how different about yourself, then end ur life in a heroically tragic way. it gives one graceful feeling, indeed, but helps nothing. they may forgot, that they r not the one who create, they r only information transmmiter, a delieverer. Pastor lee knows that he is just simply pass down the message and he is happy and satisfied about it, but they r not.
so this is how the idea change my mind: if i write, i will try not to be like them. I will write for ppl. i will write for God, or in a general language, for the purpose of this world. and altho i used to have the tendency to be like them, glad i realize now, and will be cautious on the way. pls dont criticize me on the "I"s using here, as everything is from inside out, its extension. if there happens to be any sparks of "egoism", i will pray for diminishing it and ask for directions.
chinese version to be continued tomorrow...
Goodnight vancouver
 4:23am, 25th july, 2005 from today onwards (a brief introduction) / 从今天开始 （一个简短的开头）after struggling with this for quite some time, whether to write in english or chinese, finally i decided to just try a little bit harder, and write in both language, so that i will be able to share with every one of us :). even tho the language may sound abit awkard at the beginning, still i'm going to do it, to open this new door. May God be my witness.
在挣扎了一段时间以后，究竟是用中文，还是用英文写作，最后我终于决定，就多花点精力，用两种语言写吧，这样我可以和所有的人们分享。尽管一开始时语言可能会显得有些笨拙不乖巧，我还是决定去做它，去打开这扇门。上帝作我的见证。
okay...i've got to write sth here
after meaningless girl bite, when my roomie started to speak for his buddy, sth from my mouth also unexpectely, i told him i've had enough of this. every afternoon coming back seeing him sleeping in the living room, going out at nite and disappearing nowhere in the city (well prolly friend's house), having so much time to waste yet keep the room messy, dirty, and, after all, corrupted and disgraceful. i felt surprised immediately after saying that, the words were not from me, yet they WERE from me. they have never appeared in my mind b4, but as i spoke out, i realized that it truly reflected...what i've been thinking. his reaction brought me much more surprise. he suddenly became quiet, stood there like a wood, for a while, then asking his friends going back to his room, and slowly started talking. thank u for telling me these today, thanks for it. i've been thinking about it these days also...guess u r rite. then he started to wash dishes with me. how am i supposed to know how long can this feeling of regret or guilt keep him going? i dont know, i dont dare to think, there is a way, there is always a way.
to be continued...
看着他们这么唱着，于是想写点什么澈亮的牟子
清秀的眉宇间
夹杂着少年的清纯与期待
宁静，不喧嚣
却又直透心底
美丽的花正在开放
难为人们禁不住歌颂青春
朋友说
年轻时的同班少女为人妻、为人母后
青纯不再，只透出一身强悍
哀哉，哀哉
春花秋月固然美丽，
值得赞叹
而对于他们自己
这些只是一种默默的承受
开了，谢了
来了，走了
而我只是在这里，
静静地承受着。
so that we are free妈妈和她的朋友一起来温哥华时，走之前丢了一句话：不要摆脱了外界的羁绊，却成了自己精神的囚徒。 几年前回家时和一个长辈一起吃饭，讨论到自由撰稿人。他说，“什么是‘自由撰稿人'? 当开始撰稿时他就不自由了，因为他要靠这个吃饭." 他还谈到，做一件自由的事之前，要做十件不自由的事。言下之意，自由是要去争取的，而争取的同时就要去做违背自己意愿的事。 刘墉说，人们往往把推销员拒绝在外，却不知当他把别人关在门外时，同时也把自己关在门内了。 《富爸爸，穷爸爸》一书中说，什么是专业，专业就是把自己钻进死胡同里，当这条路走不通的时候，就没有其他的选择了。当然这有点偏及，专业于一项并不意味对其他领域不了解。 围城的意寓大家都知道。。就像我经常犯的毛病，给自己周围筑起墙，然后抱怨给困住了。 而人们为什么会给自己羁绊、给自己筑墙、把自己关在门内、让自己不自由呢？因为我们不甘心，我们给自己定目标，和别人做比较，针锋相对，比到最后比不动了，就坐下来问自己为什么，把自己逼得这么累。最后放手后，觉得豁然开朗。 可是，只有比较，定目标，找竞争对手，人们才能进步。 一切还是尽在掌握平衡之中。简单两字，为何如此难以达到？ 也许因为上帝造我们的时候就是这么造的。不完美，不绝对，得到了还要更多，失去了才懂得珍惜， 天性如此。 I am glad that i choose Economics, it reflects how ppl think --based on the assumption that in order to maximise their own interest, ppl margin more and margin less, 在平衡上下比较、移动。它是earthly的，相对的，knowledge from the world. I am also glad that i have a chance to learn about God, 它是heavenly的，绝对的（完全的），knowledge from above. 这样economics连接了十字架的一横，而connection with God 完成了十字架的一竖。 我喜欢学唱歌，尤其是古典唱法，不是因为了不起，美声唱法要求下面气息要深(deep breath, down to the gut)，上面要高位置，想象音达到头顶上方很高、很远的不及处。然后开始唱的时候，就是making connection between 上面和下面。这样发出的音就立体了，通了。So that i see God. So that i am free. So that we are free.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I believe in Christianity as I believe that the Sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else. -C.S. Lewis
"There is no life, no life without its hunger Each restless heart beats so imperfectly But my brokenss was filled by your wholeness Sometimes, i think i glimpse eternity." ---song "You Raise Me Up"
poem难满难圆难思念
得心得情不得缘
常相见，难相牵
避面强似过人烟
---summer 2004 My Own True Love'Blue and lonely was I, Thinking love passed my by, All at once all my grey days turned into gay days, and I know why: Refrain: MY OWN TRUE LOVE, MY OWN TRUE LOVE, at last I've found you, MY OWN TRUE LOVE. No lips but yours, No arms but yours, Will ever lead me through heaven's doors; I roamed the earth In search of this, I knew I'd know you, Know you by your kiss, And by your kiss You've shown true love, I'm yours forever, MY OWN TRUE LOVE.'
When i noticed this score in my teacher's binder for another student, i asked her to teach me too. This song, "Tara Theme", is from the movie "Gone With the Wind", when Scarlet knew that Ashley didn't love her at all while he was griefing for his own wife's death, and Red left her at last (she lost her daughter too). Seems she lost everything in life, but suddenly she recalled what her father told when he was still alive: Tara, land, is the only eternal thing (土地是唯一永恒不变的东西). Then she found hope and spoke out the famous phrase: "Tomorrow, is another day." Regardless its contemporary colonized and economic background, the story seems to leave sth for us. i started to question myself, what is my own true love? when felt disappointed in love, or frustrated in life, what is the thing i turn to and grasp on? Some ppl when they lost some precious thing, they put all their energy and focus on work, career. If we have a child, he/she will become the centre of our life, we will give all of our love to him/her. It's sth we truely love (to do), and it may never turn back on us, at least in a short term.
This time whe i was sick, i think alot. b4 i was too agressive, always ask ppl to do the thing which i think is right for them. But actually, when ppl r sick, r weak or r in trouble, they need more understanding, rather than suggestions telling them what is the right to do. It could be a more graceful gesture to accept the differences btw ppl, by understanding, by loving them the way they r. Every unique person, unique personality is a gift from God when He made us. But what about if it is really the right thing for them to do? well, maybe we can try to discuss with them, a way for mutual communication, try to think in their position as well as the way they try to understand our idea. one thing seems important and hard to achieve, is every thing need time, allowing some time for things to progress, for ppl to change. As i talk big, i know it's lack in my personality, but at least try to be patient, try to undestand. hope this is the lesson God want me to learn this time.
Back to the point, what is My Own True Love? When i am down, disappointed in love, frustrated in life, i write, i sing, i may go dancing at the weekend (get drunk doesn't solve the problem believe me). After all, i express, i share. Without sharing, expressing could lose most of its meanings. guess thats where the aggresiveness comes about, too eager to share, too self-centered, didn't give friends space to think about, didn't allow time to work its way through. by understanding more, by think in their boxes instead of my box, hope in knowing this, God can make me a better person for Him, for the purpose of this life. but how to learn to accept, to understand? maybe thro love. thro the greatest power of all. God is love --(...somewhere in the Bible).
Betrayal seems not to be the most dreadful thing. it's igonrance, indiference that is so destructive. people...if you visit my blog...may you think about it, what is your own true love? tonitetonite i went for choir practice, we gonna have 2 big performances later on. truly truly, tho i have been put it on my nickname for many times, still i gonna write it here: music makes no boundary. it connects ppl together. but when it stops, ur belong to ur group, and i belong to mine again. how i wish we could be together. gladly sad, guess thats how one of the life's best moments feels. 五百字的文章？学校的中文报纸规定每篇只能写五百字，发现这也是个挑战，写多写少都不容易，我现在来练习一下。
原来和妈妈的朋友讨论关于信仰的问题，他说让在中国的人们信不太可能，因为现在那里的社会太浮躁了，好像人们不会静下心来玩那个。后来听来自上海的一个牧师讲座，他说现在人们祷告，比如说要一辆法拉利，要越详细越好；上帝啊你给我吧，红色的，什么型号，什么性能的，能想到的统统都讲出来，灵得不得了的。除了提到人们的浮躁之外，他还指出，这个社会也太相对了。要房子，要车，要更好的房子，更好的车。人们的社会角色扭曲了，人与人之间的关系也便变得复杂、势力。好在上帝给我们一个完全、绝对的公义，等等。
回家的路上，我在想，sfu里人们之间其实也很冷漠。走廊里人们都埋着头裹着外套疾步往前走，lecture里学生之间的交流很少，大家闷头忙自己的事情。如果说，在中国是浮躁，在sfu是什么呢？中国的生活太浮躁了，那么，sfu的生活应该是太沉重了。学生的压力大，焦虑于自己的课程和笔记，整天忧心忡忡，也无心关心他人，在阴雨的天气更觉脚步凝重。连在学校咖啡店里的活计都好像受到了感染。在普通的店里买咖啡，和店员问好笑笑是很平常的事。在sfu,每次想要态度好一点，却被一张死气沉沉的脸或不客气地语调挡了回来， 其中还带着半埋怨的态度(AQ的还算友好，West Mall的就比较典型）。有时我拼命赶啊冲啊，累了时停下来，想想，看看，都不知道自己是为了什么。我要的是什么，周围的这些都不值得去争取，至少是提不上劲来。妈妈的朋友说，自己忙了大半辈子，发现人们活着是为了爱。可是我感觉不到。前面的东西突然空了。
也许sfu也好，中国的人们也好，大家都是为了生存。生存是本，活得不好或过不下来，什么都谈不上。穷是万恶之源。那么，在满足了一定的物质基础上，可不可以就够了，剩下的时间和精力做一点实质的、本意上的探索，就像古代的那些文人，或者美国经济大萧条的时候，面包是够吃了，更好的也买不到，人们就来研究文学，哲理，宇宙观，写诗作画。想想那些名人也真不容易，整天被媒体哄炒诱惑，还要静下心来做自己的事情，继续往前走。温哥华也好，中国也好，还有新加坡。周围的环境把人们搅乱了，弄迷惑了。等以后，经济独立了，思想更独立了，我要在这浮浮沉沉中，去寻找自己内心的平静。
还要感谢上帝，给了我们绝对的公义和价值，然后让我们在这五花八门、起起落落的大千世界中，自己去寻找。也许这就是人生的意义吧。
PS:‘五花八门‘是空间上的复杂多变，‘起起落落‘是时间上的，两者加在一起是一个完整的概念，上帝是怎样创造世界的。
Why blog?It seems stupid to ask why everytime when we just feel like doing sth. it has been a while since the first time i thought about starting a blog, knowing that i most probably won't do it for very long. To me it's all about flows of consciousness, rambling along of trival stuffs in life, meaningless meaningless things. but well, why do i always keep myself from trying sth new? and when i saw one of my friend's blog, it was pretty funny that i couldn't stop giggling by the wording he used and his weird interpretations. after being challenged by one friend (he said if i start one, he gonna start one as well, ltho he feels like nothing to write about), i am trying one here, and will load the background music asap. anyway, yesterday i went to ywca, meeting mark at the door of the pool by chance. he asked why i never get into the pool, well, for me swimming never works, and stairmaster and weights r always my favorate. even if i sort of lose the interest for clubbing, i still love working out, tho it can be pretty tough work sometimes. exercise gives ppl, give me a feeling of being strong, and brings a blast of thoughts and inspirations once in a while. some stuff i read in the US magazine today, pretty funny: one pop star used to be in his college choir, the only guy in his choir, and for this he always got teased by ppl. back then he was very embarrassed, but now he said "it's all about feeling comfortable with who u r. these days girls like to be looked extremely skinny, and still complained that they were over weight. maybe they were not confident enough with their looks, so need to get overbalanced to make themselves feels comfortable. today when talking about horoscope, i told my friend i am virgo. and then he asked me what is the personality for virgo ppl, i thought for a while, well, maybe timid, and always ask for perfection? then he sneered at me: what, u, perfection?? then i was like, well, yah, whats so wrong about it? he asked, do u own a decent house? do u have a brandy car? how can u call urself a perfectionist? but, i said, it's not what i want. then what do u want? well, what do i want? i want to look for the truth. this is a big laugh..i know, but frankly, that's all i've always been longing for, well yah, i want to have my place, i want a car to take me everywhere w/out checking for bus schedule everytime, and i also want to be smart and pretty, but those r not what i live for, an 'okay' house and an 'okay' car will do, but seeking for truth, is the one sole thing that keeps my heart pumping and give me endless energy in life, no matter how badly i failed everytime. is it werid? or does that mean i am sort of high class or sth? no, no, everybody is different, and have diff life fulfillments. that's all, i guess. dreams come naturally. my ontario friend and i always think about doing sth together for ppl after graduating, but doing what? we have several plans, they all sounds okay, they dont seems "really there" for us. until ond time, i noticed a phrase quoting from Bible by my friend, by pastors in wililngdon, and by itself keeping on repeating in my head, our goals becomes clearer, "I am the way, the truth, the life." Jesus claimed that He is the truth, and he is the only person saying that in the history. b4 the crucification of Jesus is like a bedtime story for me, santa clause, mu lan, that kind of thing. ppl talks about every happenings in life is random, and that makes everything meaningless. but now it seems that it is not random, its not meaningless, our life is meaningful, and we will rejoice and give thanks, regardless of good or bad circumstances. we will learn to cherish everyday, so that we grant meanings to life, according to His way, not our way. and one day we will finally see the truth. guess that's what ...life is all about, isnt that wonderful? well, let's call it an end by now, a good starting, but my head getting heavier, goodnite :) |
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